I’ve been in open relationships before, and been quite happy. But my relationship with Flame is closed, because that’s what we both want. Or so I thought.<\/p>\n
Tonight was the second time that Flame openly betrayed that trust. We have had three game nights at our apartment, mostly with work friends. The first game night, a couple months ago, ended when I found Flame and a lesbian from work making out on the floor in our back closet\/hallway. A now, she spent most of the night touching a guy from work– sitting up against him, touching his arm, throwing her head into his body, lying in his lap– at one point saying to him, “sexmenow.”<\/p>\n
Both of these times, she’s been very drunk, but I don’t want to ascribe her behavior to alcohol. She’s a grown woman, and if she can’t control herself, then I don’t want to be with her. I put too much effort into this relationship to have her hurt me and my friends that way.<\/p>\n
I don’t want to worry about her cheating on me. I don’t want to stop having friends over for fear that she’ll cheat on me with them. I don’t want to stop her from doing what feels natural, even if she would want me to. Maybe flirting is just a part of how she interacts with the world, but if it’s that deeply rooted, then I don’t want to be involved.<\/p>\n
I think I have to break up with her, which is really sad. She and I have such a great thing together, but I don’t think it’s worth it to me to share her on these terms. I’m not sure that this idea of cheating is a good one to base relationship decisions, but if it’s not one were were both using, then it’s better for us to start over from scratch.<\/p>\n
Edit:<\/b> I wrote this as she was asleep on the bed, and I slept on the couch. When she woke up, she asked me what was wrong and I explained it, and she cried and said she didn’t mean to and only wants to be with me and it was the alcohol. So I didn’t break up with her, but I don’t feel like anything is resolved– this is just “another chance”, a lot like the last one, and I have less reason to trust her when she’s not around. I don’t know what to do.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I’ve been in open relationships before, and been quite happy. But my relationship with Flame is closed, because that’s what we both want. Or so I thought. Tonight was the second time that Flame openly betrayed that trust. We have had three game nights at our apartment, mostly with work friends. The first game night, … Continue reading My Last Duchess<\/span>